Magazines
by Jumesyn
Summary: Drabbles. Magazines are always great for updating you on your latest idol, or on your favorite political party, or just for gaining some insight on the newest position you may want to adopt with your partner. Slash. RiSo, Akuroku.
1. Cooking Light

**Disclaimer:** I decided that the best way to conduct inconspicuous murder would be to run around with a placard, written on it "I owe Sora's ass and Kingdom Hearts!"

Death by laughter. I always wanted to go like that.

**Warning: **Slash. Shounen-ai. The works.

**Author's Note: **Heh, decided to start on a new series of drabbles. Though mostly Riku / Sora, I'd occasionally introduce other pairings, like the ever so wonderful Akuroku.

**Dedications:** To **ShatteredMirror01**, whom I've been neglecting for far too long. Hope you enjoy this, my love.

* * *

Riku decided that Sora was just the weirdest lover ever. 

All his life, he never really knew that his childhood friend was an avid reader.

Yes, Sora actually had an intellectual side.

Riku was wondering when the sky is falling.

Then again, that's not saying anything. Riku reads his fair share of books and magazines, particularly enjoying _The Economist_. Sora thought that magazine was the devil.

In return, Riku would never spare a glance at the magazine titled _Cooking Light_. Too… girlish, in his opinion.

He's already battling other's wild guess at whether he was truly a female.

He proved otherwise to Sora every night.

So, anyway, when Riku came home from a hard day's work, he wasn't really expecting Sora to pounce onto him, slam him across the kitchen table, lift his shirt up, and…

Sprinkle some fluffy stuff on his tummy?!

He turned to see the latest issue of _Cooking Light_ lying innocently on the counter, highlighting on the open page, "Great Chocolate Soufflés!"

And he looked up at his brunette love again, to realize that Sora was covered in even more crumbs, fudge and chocolate than in that last food fight they had.

Sora closed in to whisper in his ears.

"Dessert is served."

… …

Riku decided that Sora was just his favorite lover ever.

* * *

**End notes:** If I recall correctly, _Cooking Light _is United State's top healthy lifestyle food magazine. I sure wish I know how to cook. 

Uh, I'll give you my version of burnt soufflés if you review? Where's Sora when you need him?


	2. Playboy

**Disclaimer:** I actually drew all the character designs for Kingdom Hearts. Yeah, and just as I was about to apply for patenting, I realized some guy named Nomura beat me to it.

Damn you Edison… I mean Nomura!

**Warning: **Slash. Shounen-ai.

**Author's Note: **Akuroku. My first fic on them, but it has always been another pairing which I worshipped.

**Dedications:** To **leafyaki**, wonderful sister-of-mine who placed her Roxas plushie on a pedestal. Here's my first Akuroku tribute to you. Enjoy.

* * *

Roxas? Hmm, well, Roxas…

Roxas is passionate. If he finds something worth doing, he will not hesitate to give it his 100.

Roxas is a wonderful brother. He took it upon himself to always protect his too naïve and oblivious twin, which usually include fending off a certain silver blond sex-crazed fiend.

Roxas is tolerant. When he understood that his lovable twin is indeed greatly in love with above-mentioned sex fiend, and the feeling is mutual, he gave them his blessing. Well, blessing being a crushing brotherly hug (shared enthusiastically by both blue-eyed) and pulling off sexy fiend to one side with the normal threat of castration via rusty teaspoon.

Roxas is… intelligent. Yes, as surprising as it is, both brothers hide an incredible wealth of knowledge and talent beneath one's oh-look-butterfly-isn't-it-beautiful-Riku and the other's fuck-off-I'm-pissed facades.

Roxas punched anyone who argued the above fact.

All that said, Roxas is still a punk. A lovable, intelligent, brotherly, accepting punk.

We all adore him.

And nobody (no pun intended) adores him more than a certain redheaded maniac.

Pyromaniac.

Axel? Uh… Axel…

Axel is, well… Axel is a pervert.

Not just any pervert.

A bisexual pervert who swore loyalty and fidelity to a certain blond since they moved in together.

A pervert who read something oh-so-_interesting­­_ on his latest issue of porn magazine.

"Roxy! Let's try that new position depicted in here!"

Throwing issue 221 of _Playboy _aside, the anorexic-looking redhead forced himself onto the poor blond lying innocently on the queen-sized bed.

Threats released soon turn into gasps and moans.

And the hopeful suitors of Axel are reminded once again, sadly, that…

Axel is Roxas' pervert.

* * *

**End notes:** If you don't know about _Playboy_, you might as well go jump off the roof now.

Who needs it when you have wonderful sweaty mansex occurring before your eyes anyway? Yeah, I'll just dump the magazine to my next reviewer…


	3. Films in Review

**Disclaimer:** You see, I'm going broke just THINKING about how to save enough money to buy_Coded_, _358/2 Days_, and most importantly, _Birth By Sleep_. And no, I don't even own any of the systems that they are coming out on, except a mobile phone.

Psh, so yeah, I own Kingdom Hearts, sure.

**Warning:**Slash. Shounen-ai. Seriously, it should stop offending people by now.

**Author's Note: **So… I hope someone, mainly my favorite reviewer, missed me. Well, hopefully not enough to kill me. College's doing that already, by the way. I blame my entire hiatus on college.

More fluff than humor in this chapter.

**Dedications:** To **Shattered Mirror01**, who so patiently did not kill me. I still love ya, girl. Always.

* * *

At the end of _Thank You For Smoking_, Sora was rolling on his sides. 

Riku was smiling, but not entirely amused by the movie.

At the end of _50 First Dates_, Sora was sobbing, tearing over the tragedy and love befalling the young couple, and moaning about the beautiful true love found despite the circumstances.

Riku was yawning.

…In his defence, it was a chick flick.

…er, yeah.

And when_ Brokeback Mountain _played its credit, Sora whined and wept in Riku's chest, over an unaccepted and forbidden love, the death that shall haunt a lover, and of unhappy marriages. He felt nothing less than true sorrow for the protagonists.

Riku hugged the young brunette, and cooed.

"It's just a movie, Sora."

As the trail of tear glistened on cherubic face, the boy pouted.

* * *

Riku picked up another copy of _Films in Review_, and scoffed. 

"Over-hyped movie reviews…"

"To think Zexion recommended this… they suck."

And Sora listened, and he smiled.

He almost smirked.

Well, not everything about the movie or reviews sucked…

* * *

Sora often ended up emotional after movies. 

Because, as inconceivable as it is, he is a deep thinker.

When it comes down to people's feelings and emotions and all that, anyway.

"Wasn't that hilarious, Ri? Wanna do something else now?"

_Translation: Shall we do something less ha-ha and a little more ah-ah?_

Riku's mind works somehow differently from the norm, after all.

As in most occasions anyway, though Sora usually "incited" these thoughts.

"That was horrifying, Riku! I'm never watching that again! I need to get my mind off it!"

…yeah.

"Riku…_sniff_… please, comfort me? That was just… too… sad…"

"Oh Riku, will you love me like they love each other? Maybe more? Care to prove it?"

And as was almost 100 percent of the time, the movie night ended with sweet love made and cries and throes of passion into the night.

And Sora would relax into Riku's hold as he cuddled in.

And Riku would realize that some things from the movie probably didn't suck so badly.

* * *

So, be it _The Grudge_, _Crash_, _Munich_, _How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days_, or even _An Inconvenient Truth_, Riku will always say the movie review is the most overrated thing he read. 

But when Sora's in the washroom or out to buy groceries or off to lessons or whatever, Riku could be found poring through _Films in Review_ for the next best DVD he can lay his hands on.

Because, he knows, and Sora knows, that perhaps the reviews, or the movies, don't suck so badly.

"Hi Riku! So, whatcha wanna watch tonight?"

No, they don't suck at all, really.

* * *

**End notes:** Well, maybe the movies didn't suck, but I know this fic did. 

To think I could only come up with this after being on hiatus for so long. College! What have you done to me?!

Pen down your (vicious) thoughts please, so that I could rate how bad I sucked. Because Riku's right, I suck. Bad.


End file.
